Be Your Own Savior

Save Yourself

You may have been denied precious attention in your early years because life happened. Even when your loving family meant the very best, something huge and awful fell through the cracks. Pain went unnoticed. Needs floundered unmet.

Trauma Simply Happens

The tragedy about relational trauma is that it’s not personal. It’s not about us. We didn’t draw suffering to us, or cause it to happen; we aren’t a beacon for punishment. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time and our suffering was a neutral byproduct. When relational trauma occurs, needs are unmet for all parties involved. The perpetrator was violated before perpetrating, and in a domino effect, the victim is victimized.

Often trauma makes us look outside of ourselves for someone else to fix our pain and protect us the way we should have been once protected. We seek external validation in attempt to master our past and heal ourselves and prevent any future suffering, accidents, mistakes.

Pain Is Inevitable

But the wound will never quite close up and the only way through pain is to feel it. Certain things will trigger us again and again, and make us raw. The only thing we can do is meet our own needs as purely and kindly as possible. We choose to sit with our loss, yet again, and mourn it by honoring ourselves and self-soothing with conscious holding. We learn to love ourselves in a way that nobody has ever been able to first love us.