The Fear of Fear Itself

Painting by Rachel Lind

So often, we are afraid that we are going to be afraid later. That’s called anxiety—the worry that something that hasn’t happened yet will come to pass and be something we won’t be able to handle. Anxiety has this funny way of convincing us that we might have control over something if we only work a little harder, worrying and overthinking every little thing we said and did, and planning what we will say or do.

Trust Future You

It’s not productive to stay busy worrying. Be here now, said the late Ram Dass. What are you avoiding in the present that you want to distract yourself from by worrying about the future? Or stewing over the past? It can be little more than a hobby to fret, and burns up a lot of energy that you could use to invest in now by being with what is happening.

Accept Former You

You did that dumb, mean, or selfish thing, back then, because it made sense to you, somehow. That’s where you were at in your journey at that time. Let it go. And if it keeps coming back, name the underlying feeling (I said something awful because I was afraid of abandonment or rejection) and then give yourself permission to move on.